Motivate Me Monday

This post will probably not sound very motivating in the beginning so, you will just have to hang on awhile.

Last week my husband and I had a rather devastating financial disappointment. I am not going to get into the details because I will end up going off on a HUGE rant and that is not what this post is about. But the short story is that my husband was seriously injured at work, and his case has been slowly working its' way through the layers of bureaucracy at the Workers Compensation Division.

This situation has been hanging over our heads for over 3 years now. Although we made the best of a bad situation, it still has been a very emotional and trying 3 years for us. We have been affected by this situation mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. It has been extremely draining. And then to finally come to a conclusion and to be told basically, "sorry, but it's not our problem" was a massive blow to us.

First came the emotion of honest shock. Then came rage. I was so angry. I started thinking of heinous things to happen to different people. At that point, I had to step back and calm myself down. It is not my nature to want to take things out on others. But, I really had reached that point. I think that 3 years of pure stress and tension just exploded inside my mind.

Once I calmed down, the disappointment really sank in. Not only the disappointment in the financial sense but, the disappointment in people you trust, a system that is suppose to protect you and just the overwhelming realization that so many people and institutions out there no longer believe in accountability.

When did the lack of accountability become acceptable in our country? When did it become okay to just walk away from something you are responsible for and have the attitude of, "Oh well. Not my problem anymore. I don't want to deal with it so, I'm not"?

Of course, this lead to a bunch of anger triggers again for me, so once again, I stepped back and collected myself. What I finally came to terms with is that I can't control what other people do or don't do. They have to live with that. Unfortunately, it generally spills over into those of us who do take accountability in our lives and so we are left "cleaning up the mess" so to speak.

The lack of accountability hurts all of us. And although right now, I want to scream at the top of my lungs about the whole injustice that occurred, it really isn't going to do much good. We have "fought" for three years. We did all the right things and still we were not treated fairly.

So, for me, I am sick and tired of being mentally and emotionally beaten up. This ends now. The outcome was not what we wanted or quite frankly, what we deserved but, I will not let it destroy me or take any more from me than it already has.

All through this ordeal, my husband and I have been thrown some seriously scary twists in our lives. I think for a majority of couples out there, their marriage would have ended. But, we stood our ground and got angry together and talked things out. We saw each other at our worst and still were able to get through it. We learned things about each other that we didn't realize was part of either of us. But, we were able to see it for what is was and work through it and become stronger as a couple for it.

Although I am a little harder around the edges, I am still me and I still believe in accountability. I was raised that way and honestly, I plan to raise our granddaughter the same way. I refuse to breed a new generation with the ethics I see all around me. Nope, I have toughened up a little but, I still hold myself accountable.

Accepting that is very enlightening. I feel better about our lives and about me. I plan to make lemonade out of the lemons we were given. If nothing else, I feel stronger than before. I did not allow them to beat down to the point of giving up. I did not let them take the happiness out of my life. Nobody and no matter what, will be able to do that because I won't accept it.

I was fortunate to be raised my parents who are phenomenal role models. Their standards and ethics were never compromised and their love for us was unwavering. They taught me accountability, responsibility and self worth. They also are not wasteful people. I learned frugality from them by example. I learned that happiness comes from within, not what you have around you. I learned that I make my own happiness and that I can choose what and how things effect me.

I have a husband who loves me, a granddaughter who loves me, family who loves me and wonderful friends who love me. Honestly, I am a fortunate woman! I still have my integrity, my laughter, my faith in God and no one can take that from me.

I choose to move on. To be happy and grateful for the things I have.

6 comments :

  1. WOW...thanks for taking the time to share God's huge motivating hand in your life! I'm so proud of you for your perspective change. Stick to your guns...I'll be praying for you!

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  2. Thank you so much for that comment!

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  3. Wow! Good for you staying in the battle - so tough! Can't imagine the pain you must be going through to keep pushing through. Thank you for sharing this!

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  4. Way to be! Don't let something like this get you down . . . in the end, we're all accountable to God, and your integrity will shine through!

    God Bless You!

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  5. Sarah Mae and Kyla,
    Thank you both for taking the time to comment. It was a huge relief once I sat myself down and "let go" of all the unfairness. It really isn't fair for me to judge. When you pray for guidance, sometime's it may not take the form you want it to but, once I did just let it go, everything just felt right in my heart.

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  6. You two are strong people, but all that's been happening recently has really tested that strength to the max. It would anyone! You'll be fine, and we know things will work out for you. Continue on with the positive attitude you have. Our health, happiness and outlook on life are the most important things we have. Don't let the bad stuff pull you under and try to drown you. That's the devil in disguise trying his hardest to defeat you. You are naturally happy people, and you'll be ok.

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